I don't know where I'm going with this, but its time I start blogging about my issues rather than write them out and wait for someone to find them after I die. That made no sense considering nobody will find this maybe until I"m gone.
I am 32, single, white, female living in the midwest............................WITH PANIC DISORDER. That is really what has defined me the last six years. Six years ago, I walked away from my fiance of nine years, broke his heart and apparently entered a depressive state that I am constantly pulling myself out of. Life with panic is not easy...it sucks actually but I do my best to find the humor in all of it. Some of my posts will be sad, some will be funny, etc etc. I still feel like I have all the time in the world to get married, have kids and all of that because that's what we're all supposed to do right? No way could someone ever find happiness without all the shit our grandparents did....UGH.
I talked to my mama today and somehow a trip we took to FL came up. She said when I was three, my pops put water wings on me and I jumped over and over from the high dive with no fear. Wow, to just be able to put water wings on today and sit in a small traffic jam would make my day. Instead, I'm armed with Paxil CR, Xanex, Ativan and Camel Lights.
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